Fun days ahead … and dressing up….
Nana
Here is a blast from the past- AND THIS IS ONLY A FEW OF THE MOMENTS WE HAD FUN … some adorable costume choices ! From dressing up for big dances, dressing up for Halloween and even just for fun, fall fairs, birthday parties, Irish week’s crazy hair day! All kinds of silliness and fun. Hopefuly you will keep those fun times in your hearts for ever. Wonder what you will chose to be this year for Halloween ? We had so much fun with costumes for all kinds of different things and sometimes for no reason at all like the face painting and silly SnapChats with your cousins. Above are just a few! SO MANY HAPPY DAYS, SO MANY FUN COSTUMES AND SO MANY SMILES…. Nana has so many wonderful pictures for you to keep and enjoy as you grow older. If you only knew how much love and care went into making good memories for you. WE DON’T KNOW WHAT HAS BEEN SAID THAT YOU COULD EVER THINK ANYTHING SAD. WE WERE SO HAPPY SPENDING TIME WITH YOU. NEVER WERE SAD ABOUT ANY PART OF HAVING THE CHANCE TO HELP MOM AND DAD, TO LIVE WITH YOU FOR SO MANY YEAR. Look at just a few of the fun costume days over the past years. These photos are but a few of so so so many…. Do you remember?
Mom and Dad have said you were unhappy here. They say you dont want to talk to us anymore, and oh my goodness we are so confused. We can’t imagine what you must be thinking about all of this. For us it seems pieces of events have been altered to seem as though we have would ever do anything to hurt anyone’s feelings. I think that when your lives changed so much last December , and you both we so sad leaving. So afraid of change. Remember when Eli’s camp called because he didn’t want to have any changes and I went to pick him up ? We know that you want so much to make your mom and dad happy and so do we. Yet things have spiraled out of control. We truly feel you want very much to make your mom and dad happy. You want to be happy. You knew – they were not happy with Michigan, and even knew we eventurally stayed away when Dad was in town to give him space. Knowing how hard this must be for both of you is why I write journal. I hope one day you will both know we always only WANTED YOU TO BE HAPPY AND DO NOT, AND did not, EVER WANT IT TO BE HARD FOR YOU.
You never will have to feel you have to choose. You are supposed to live with your mom and dad, and be happy, never be sad that you could not call, or tell us. Just keep your happy memories safe and use them when you need to feel happy. Keep your beautiful smiles and never feel bad about not calling, or seeing us. Never feel bad for not seeing your cousins, or being able to be there for birthdays and holidays…. WE ALL WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY AND THIS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN CHOOSE OR CONTROL. For I know everyone here wants you to be as happy healthy and smart as you can possibly be. Using happy memories, to feel good about your self and your life is so important. Believe in the truth always…and everything will be okay. Your mom and dad love you so much, and some people do not need big families around, they like to live life on their own. They will always love you and you have people everywhere in many many places who also love you. Grown ups are able to make decisions … how they wish to live life. Until children are grown, parents make these choices for them. Nana and Poppy made choices for our children, and when they grew up they made their own. We love our family, and love being around them. When we cannot be around them we keep them in our heart and we hope they are happy.
It is hard to understand, after all we know how you felt when you left here- loving us loving life and everything here so much , and it was so sad how hard you were both crying, not wanting to go. Not because you didnt want to be with mom and dad, but simply because it was such a surprise and change is always so hard. The plan all along was for you to be in the Mitten for five years total. The move after the third year came up in November (around the time of the eye surgery) , and was made in December. It was a shock for sure, and as a matter of fact mom even asked the eye doctor for a letter saying you can stay in Michigan. That day was sad because all you had come to call home for so long was changing. I remember that Mom made promises that you could “call anytime”. That you would be back in a few weeks. Next thing we hear, we cannot see you we cannot talk to you and you don’t want to see us . It’s even been said there is this huge problem that Nana was not good, and that you were treated badly. Only fractions or pieces of truth then distortion or altered versions with so many things that are not true.
Ultimately this must be so hard on you both, since we do know how much you want to make Mom and Dad happy and live in a happy home. THAT IS WHAT WE ALL WANT FOR YOU … HAPPINESS. We don’t know if your mad that we didn’t make things so your could stay. We don’t know if your even mad at all since last we face timed Eli was sad when I said “but Eli you won’t be living at Nana’s now that Daddy was out of the army. I said “now you get to live with mom and dad all the time ” to which He then gave the “thumbs down” and was taken off the phone to his bedroom by mommy. That’s when for a moment Guillianna spoke to me and asked mom if she could call Poppy at work. Mom said “it’s 7:30 you have school ” and Guillianna asked if she could call the next day. Never did we hear another word …. So unbelievably hard to understand and it makes us wonder what has happened. For your entire lives we spoke played lived and loved having you around and felt very happy for the chance. Never did we imagine this !?
That is why we write love letters. To make sure you know that we understand. We want happiness for you. We don’t ever want you sad. We have to respect our daughter needed to make changes that she felt would help your family. In her opinion or theirs , Removing us, was the solution they felt best to solve something they believe but what we can’t understand is why they would ever think you were unhappy . We will always try to help all the people in our family. We always have. When our own kids became adults they were able to choose what they felt is best. For the two of you – We have always said, Mom and Dad are in charge – and we tried our best to make your mom and dad very happy. Somehow they now see us as telling you that 1) you were bad kids, and 2) that we did not treat you well enough. (They were told we forced you to do homework, and were unkind about it, -and even that Nana blames you for having no toe??? Oh my never ever has anyone said that, or felt that, or ever thought that, so we are very shocked.) Very shocked, that pieces of reality like having no toes, turned into something so abstract, absurd and untrue. By the time you read these letters, you’ll know about diabetes and how it was what caused me to have surgery. I do not know how this unkind and untrue seed was planted, but it could not be further from the truth. And if for some reason anyone ever lead you to believe you should be guilty, or sad for something that is nothing to do with you, and is truly not even a problem or big deal for Nana, I am so sorry. Please, Let’s make sure you remember the real truths, like what you do remember me saying and doing – “where ever you go, what every you do” kisses, will you drive us to school? Will you pick us up ? How you didn’t want us to go out and leave you home with mommy ? How is possible you went from wanting to see us be around us and so so happy ? To this ? In reality we were pretty inseparable, and you were so happy! There was always huge excitement over Eli Nana time while Guillianna had her events, Guilllianna Eli time when Eli had his… always so much fun. The kind of sorrow we are told you have at the time of this love letter, is so shockingly different from anything we knew to be true.
It’s also been said that they believe that we said bad things about them. Nana and Poppy have always done their best to help Mom and Dad, and have always done our best to care for you both in their absence. We also always told you how they were helping others and making the world a better place. From when you were months we played you homemade videos of them and we were always making sure you knew they love you. We told you that we could all do things so that you too could be like mom and dad, like when we helped the children with cancer and dressed up like Mom and Dad. We only ever tried to be the best grandparents we could to you both. Why they feel the things they do, and why this has happened we cannot understand or explain to you. Until they are able to sort out the truth, and see pieces of things they say, are not the entire truth, this will be so hard for both of you and for everyone that has been affected by such rash and harsh withdrawal from the lives you’ve always lived. For all the many people who have gone without being able to see or speak to you regularly – or at all.
This site will be a source of happy reminders for you to one day reconcile all you must feel as children, or will feel as adults. This site is a source that Poppy and I hope will one day help you, and even help your parents, and yes even ourselves as well, to find the actual truth of what was REAL over the past nine years. We may not ever be two people they choose to spend time with. That is their choice, and also theirs to make for you as children. They may like being able to not share time with extended family, or simply may be so used to the life of moving and not getting too attached to anyplace. Maybe this is easiest way for them to cope with the life that the Army or their own past childhood issues which had been created within them. Maybe they needed time with just the two of you after so long away. We may not ever know. The reality is they are your parents, and we are left without options other than to be respectful of their demands – ( we have been told that we cannot send cards, they changed all their phone numbers told us not to call -and we’ve been told we cannot visit, see or speak to you -) Love letters for your future is all we can do as of now . Mommy and her parents will not ever likely be able to agree on some things, …. for we will always feel this method of isolation was so hurtful to everyone, but we can hope for the day where at least being civil and showing kindness will return, and the daughter we helped, loved and believed could never do something so unbelieveable, returns, undertanding and compassion wins – and this terrible situation ends. Until that day, having respect, gratitude for all they have done and try to do for you, and you two showing love for your parents, is very important. Being smart and strong and keeping honesty and gratitude and all your family in your heart as part of many great traits you already hold is so important. Hopefully you will always remember that, despite anything.
Well we are into September and with fall headed your way there will surely be fun days ahead ! Plans for trick or treat and fall festivals ? Apple picking or jumping in leaves? New costumes and lots more smiles.
We hope that what ever you choose to do this fall – that it is fun and makes you both smile just like the faces in these photos!
The fun times you spent in the Mitten may slip away or fade from memory with time but the photos will always be nice keepsakes.
Hope your days are full of laughter and smiles. Missing and LOVING you both always and forever,
XOXOXOXOXOXO
❤️Nana and Poppy❤️?